How a medical emergency brought up the “Mom GuilT” and How to Get out of that funk.
Do you ever feel like this year is not going to end? I mean with so many ups and downs, the pandemic, constant changes and challenges most families are going through right now, it’s a wonder we have our heads on our shoulders at all.
Last week I endured a medical emergency. I suffer from IBS and have been on a journey to figure it out for years. It decided to tear its ugly head and make lower bowel issues for me as if I needed that! I’ll leave the gory details out, but I can tell you, it’s made it difficult to walk, breathe and freakin sit down. I am one tough cookie and this made even me want to cry!!
Fast forward a week. A week of being off with my kiddos again, overseeing their school work, meals and time for hugs...time to actually hug my fiancé and thank him for helping out. (We work opposite shifts and rarely see each other).
I started having that weird feeling of sadness come over me like when I went back to work for the first time when my kids were little. A tug of ole “Mom guilt” that I can’t be there to give them a ride to work or school, or be around for breakfast together. That bit of annoyance because life is always so busy and what am I really busy with these days?
Here are some tips for us Mom’s who struggle with a bit of “Mom’s Guilt” as we return to work. Whether it’s for medical leave like my case, or you’re returning to work after Covid or even maternity leave.
1. Take time to care for yourself.
I can’t stress this enough. If there’s one thing I want you to gain here it’s that We can’t pour from an empty cup, so to speak and being a Mom or Dad is no joke. Our radar must always be on.
So plan some time to just sit, reflect, journal your feelings and maybe eat a little sweet treat. All those “things” in life can wait.
2. Pin point what is creating this guilt.
Is it past issues, or trauma? Do you feel like because you’re Mom was a SAHM you have to as well? Do you feel bad because you don’t have time to cook great meals or take your kids on fun adventures? Ask yourself those questions.
3. Go back and revisit your Core Values.
We all get sidetracked with life. We really do!! That is ok. When you can, review what makes you tick as a parent and see if you can re-establish your values. Homemade snacks, earlier bedtimes, night night stories? Whatever it is, make time for at least one of those things.
4. Find your Tribe.
Find Moms that really get you. Yes our family is a great support at times, but when your well meaning Auntie starts questioning you and you feel attacked for your families choices, it’s time to find a new circle of support.
This includes well meaning strangers too.
A great place to look would be Moms Groups on Facebook, or even Instagram. Use a quick hashtag search to find working Moms to connect with. Just don’t let yourself get into the comparison game. You are special too ya know?!
5. Listen to Your Gut
You know your kids and you get a gut instinct as a Mother. We just know what’s working with them and not, MOST of the time. If you’re little One is extra whiny Because they have an earache , don’t feel bad about not going in to work. It’s ok for us to figure out how to get them well. If your teen is having a moment of acting out, you take that time to figure out how to get them back on track.
You do what works best for you and most of all because you know your kids the best.
My ending thoughts:
Time slips by so so quickly, especially with our kiddos. Give yourself permission to enjoy that time with them, don’t give in to guilt for working. Just be sure to schedule in “date nights “ with the kiddos too!